All's Quiet

Here I am, we are, on this pleasant Memorial Day weekend Saturday, and all is quiet.  For me, the quiet is unsettling.  In four months and seven days we have been exposed to so much chaos and turmoil that this quiet day seems abnormal, disquieting if you will.  There is a take away to this though.  It all reminds me of a similar dynamic on a smaller scale.

My experience tells me that when a child is raised in a dysfunctional home; a home with alcoholism, or drug addiction, or a gambling addiction, or any kind of addiction, or even no addiction, but where there is mental or emotional illness, the child experiences chaos.  The child grows to be an adult and in one way or another recreates chaos in her or his life because it is what they know.  It is what they are comfortable with.  It is the way that they have experienced the world and have a core unconscious belief that chaos is how the world should be.  When that person's world becomes free of chaos, they feel uncomfortable, anxious, on edge, hypervigilant.  They would rather not feel these emotions.  These emotions were the warning signals that something bad was going to happen, but they didn't know when.

Now let's take this picture and expand it a couple of different ways.  These first four months of trump being the administrator of our country have been, from my perspective, extremely chaotic.  I have become "comfortable" with the chaos.  On a day like today, I do feel anxious.  I know more chaos is coming, but I don't know when.  America is my home and there is a great deal of dysfunction in our family.

The next way that I see what is happening in our country has to do with speculation regarding trump's home life in his family of origin.  I believe, I obviously do not know, that trump was raised in a dysfunctional home.  I believe trump became used to chaos and that chaos is an integral part of how he conducts all aspects of his life.  I believe that his chaotic lifestyle was reinforced by money.  Money is obviously a reinforcing agent for trump.  I believe that he has seized on and exploited the dysfunction of our American family because it is familiar to him and he is comfortable with it.  I believe that he has exposed us as a dysfunctional family and keeps us embroiled in chaos because that is how he is most comfortable.  This is pure conjecture and I will most likely never determine if it is true, but it all fits for me.

As I was thinking this through and writing about it, my son asked me if I had heard the latest report from The Washington Post, that jared kushner proposed back channel communications to the Russians in December of 2016.  Reports are that this back channel suggestion was not acted on by either party.  Thank God.  some more chaos